Today is my first Mother’s Day without my mom. And listen… when I was a kid, I thought my mother was rough. Not mean. Just tough, sometimes strict, and always in your business. The kind of woman that could roll her eyes so hard it felt like a personal attack. Those eyes had power. But let me be clear… YOU were not allowed to roll your eyes back at her. If you valued your life, you kept that little attitude to yourself and mumbled under your breath where she couldn’t hear it. Like many moms, I think she also had bionic ears. That was a mommy super power. And my mother could out cuss anybody. She had a group of friends just like her — a whole mommy network, a street gang of mamas. 😂
Mommy Super Powers Were Real
These women were all connected. They were a whole network before people started calling things “villages” and “support systems.” Back then, as kids, we just thought they were nosy — doing way too much. You could do something wrong three blocks over and somehow your mama already had the full report before she even got home from work. Detailed too. Witness statements. Timeline. Supporting evidence. Everything but a signed affidavit. Thank the heavens there was no internet yet or there would’ve been a live feed. 😶🤣 And then came the worst part — every mother on the block telling you how disappointed they were in you. That head shake. That pointed disappointment finger. Nobody wanted that. 😂 And let’s not forget their ability to inflict guilt. Another mommy super power.
Moms On The Block Are Different
At the time, I thought it was horrible. Now? Honestly, it makes me laugh because I understand it now. They were holding each other down. Watching, patrolling, and helping raise each other’s kids. Making sure everybody got through life okay. My mother was one of THOSE women.
She worked for a division of DCFS (Department of Children & Family Services), helping make sure kids had food, clothes, and school supplies. My mom marched with Dr. King and spent Saturdays at P.U.S.H. with Jesse Jackson. Our alderman knew he could call on her and her crew whenever needed. Mom and her network didn’t just stand up, they showed up. They were truly about that life.
Mom Looked Out For Many
One summer, the little girl next door was outside running through the sprinkler in my swimsuit. I was probably 10 years old and I was not happy about it. I went in the house to plead my case, and my mother told me, “She needed it, she didn’t have one. Fix your face, and maybe I’ll get you another one.” As a kid, I absolutely did not appreciate that answer. I just wanted my swimsuit back. As I got older, I understood it differently. My mother saw people before she saw possessions, and honestly, that might be the biggest mommy super power of all. We were nowhere near rich. My parents hustled hard. But when I think back on that little girl being so proud to wear something nice, something she had probably seen me wear first, I realized my mama was teaching us lessons we didn’t fully understand yet.
Mom, I Appreciate You
So today, I miss her and there are not enough words to say how much I love her. And more than anything, I realize how lucky and blessed I was to have her. Not just my mom, but the group of additional moms that I gained from close friends, they claimed me too.
A lot of us grew up a little scared of those tough neighborhood mothers, mostly because we didn’t want to disappoint them. Looking back, I realize they had a big job; to protect, guide and push us toward being decent human beings.
Back then, I thought my mama was too much. Now I realize she was part of a strong network of women that looked out for each other and for us too. That means we were very lucky. 😉😊
“Dedicated to the moms — my own, and the Chicago network of moms who helped her raise me. I was listening to everything you said. Every lesson taught. THANK YOU! 💕
dragonflies & honey
